The new adventures of the Kid and Carlson

March throw from country to country

a Chapter in which Babe rubs ass and Carlson sleeps on-the-go

- Now you will hear the typical spyware snore, Carlson said.
- Did the spies snore as something special? - again surprised the Kid.
- Yes, they snore subtly and cleverly, so that you can go crazy.
Here it is: "Hoooo, dooo, dooo!"
Spyware snoring was like the scream, then a rumbling, and the sound of this really terrified the more he got louder. Carlson was snoring loudly and ominously. Little came from it in horror and thought, "he's so Vain...."


On this day we got up very early with the realization that we have probably the biggest transition for the entire trip.
I mean, if you have the strength, the shortest way to cross the southern part of the Scandinavian Peninsula and torjestvenno the evening to enter the Helsingborg - the city of port on shore of the Strait of eresund.
Of course I love to see the city of malmö - home to Ulrika,but then I wasn't sure what we will manage to get to the final point of our route.
But to make a detour via Malmo is at least two extra days.
And judging by the map the area around malmö was very populous and could cause problems overnight.

The morning was cool. The temperature fell to 20 degrees.
Swimming in the morning is not wanted and we breakfasted in haste, gathered and went.

Morning coolness worked at us encouragingly. Skidding was much more fun.
After Lukavica Rinat stuck for a while on a huge trading floor crammed with new and used vehicles.
These showrooms were almost at the entrance to every major city.
Rinat was partial to gasoline and horses with drooping hlustu walked past their metal carcasses, drooling to her chin.
The choice really was huge. Used car Volvo 1997, it was possible to buy two Swedish monthly salary.
Another thing is that the car in Sweden only one of the means of transportation and not the most popular.

Popadalovo an hour and a half crossed the border Lena Scan (Skane) and also rode to the commune Bromolla(Bromulla) .

The beauty of the Swedish hinterland is indescribable.
Complete solitude and a century of peace hovers over its hills , forests and rivers.
This pastoral and pristine cleanliness seemed filled with a Museum exhibit at the layers of time and space.
A small settlement followed each other - Nasum,Arkelstorp, Knislinge.
I wanted to go and go, the soul sang and my feet were carrying our bikes from sea to sea.

Near Gumlosa we saw an absolutely stunning toy children's town, built on the lawn along the road some handy wizard for their kids.
The town is exactly the same structure and life of Swedish villages.

We Rinat was like Gulliver among the buildings and figures.
Rinat remembered that he is also a sculptor of wood and not just the head of a gasoline burner, and long climbing equipment for cutting.

To eat we decided in the largest city of the commune Hassleholm with the same name, with 18 000 inhabitants.

The town was cute but not impressed.
The biggest attraction of course was Szczyrk, located on the hill. Before her was a small Park with lawns dotted with short clipped grass.

Sitting on the bench we have deployed our dining set. A carton of milk and a package of yogurt, cereal and some rolls.
Satiated my friend immediately fell down on the grass and fell instantly asleep.

Apparently Rinat in the stomach was some sort of pointand falling on the food which started the mechanism of sleep.
As a result he could probably fall asleep even standing up.
Half an hour I watched the wedding procession of about sirki, and then woke Rinat.
He simultaneously came in a very bad mood (he was not terribly loved when he was awake).
But there was the route.
To Hassleholm we drove a little more than 60 km.
And it was not even the middle of the day

Driving through the Swedish cities we have never seen people Smoking on the street or in the cafe.
The government of this country beskompromissno struggling with addictions of its citizens regardless of the laws of the European Union worthy of respect.
And after all that surprisingly the majority of the population supports any draconian measures in this direction.
No one advocates screaming about infringement of the rights of smokers.
There is a systematic attack on all fronts at the people addicted to this harmful habit.

In June of this year Sweden, followed by several other European countries banned Smoking in cafes, bars, restaurants and Nightclubs.
Translations of Smoking in Sweden on "illegal position" is made possible thanks to the powerful lobbying of the National Department of health. It strongly urged the Cabinet and the public that due to passive Smoking mortality a staff of the above institutions is three times higher than employees of other establishments.

A concession to the fans of tobacco still made: a bad habit you can indulge in a specially equipped, small, tightly closed!, well ventilated area where it will be forbidden to serve food and alcohol.
However, it is unlikely that the owners of many establishments will be able to pull the construction of those last "refuges for smokers" and they Willy nilly will have to choose - or to shift to non-smokers or to curtail business.
The Smoking ban, according to a recent poll, two thirds welcomed the Swedes.

Pprognoziruemost that innovation will suffer in Sweden less painful than in other countries, thanks to the popular "snus" - a kind varieties of chewing tobacco, put under the upper lip.
In 1992, "snus" was banned in the EU as containing carcinogens.
However, Sweden joined the EU in 1995, managed to achieve for themselves exceptions.
According to estimates, "snus" consume almost 10% of Swedes, or about one million people.
The number of using tobacco this is bound to increase after the ban on Smoking.
But in this case people will ruin only your health, but others do not suffer.

Modern man is by nature weak, few have the will power and common sense.
And according to his will, few people able to part with the habits of drug action is pleasurable but harmful to health.
Because centralized coercion simultaneously involved probably at the moment the most powerful tool in the hands of the state, which does not care about its own citizens.
In Sweden it is know as in any other country in the world.
This country needs healthy and living people.
Hence the uncompromising fight against Smoking and a green snake.

For example, by 2012, all vehicles and machinery Scandinavia will be equipped with "alcohol locks" that prevent driving under the influence.
In order to start the car, equipped with a lock, you must blow into a tube breathalyzers.
Electronic device will block the starting of the engine if the concentration of alcoholic vapor in the breath of the driver exceeds the permissible norm.
Most reliable "alcohol locks" not only to control the time of engine start, but also check the driver's sobriety while driving.
Surveys show that 90% of the Swedish drivers agree to install such devices, provided that this measure will not increase the cost of cars.
And in Swedisharea is ready to compensate! manufacturers installation costs "alcohol locks" .

By the way, the Swedes require the adoption of the law on compulsory equipping of such locks to all new cars.
According to the Minister of infrastructure in Sweden, Ulrica messing, if the EU did not approve this proposal, Sweden is ready to pass such a law unilaterally.

Passed Turinge,Perstorp and Klippan.
The weather gradually became worse, clouds delayed the sky and after Kviddinge we covered a typical Scandinavian shower.
Thin slightly cold rain straight as steel wire from heaven in the time wet us from above.
The clouds were not solid and it was evident that the rain for a while.
Rinat to warm up again rushed forward, and of course passed the right turn.
And I don't have time to shout after him to accelerate.
The result is mad as hell at his companion, I rode him only at the entrance of Astorp (Astorp).
If rolled before that traveled the route would be busy and densely populated areas on rural lanes.
And so we had to stray a little in the suburbs of Helsingborg (Helsingborg).

And finally in the evening around 20 00 we drove to the beautiful seaside town, driving in the morning more than 150 km.
And only then I felt that still rubbed my ass for the first time in this campaign.

Helsingborg is a coastal city located in the southernmost province of Sweden for the Scan.
The city's population is nearly 120,000 residents.

The city was founded more than 900 years ago, at a time when all this area belonged to Denmark.
Thanks to its excellent position on the shores of the Baltic sea, Helsingborg became an important European capital, already in 1600.
Because of the favourable geographical position of this area long challenged each other Denmark and Sweden.
In 1658, after a series of Swedish-Danish wars Hehlingberg and the province of skåne passed into Swedish possession.

Among the attractions is the tower remaining from the former fortress
As kärnan (Karnan) (the symbol of the city, the tower height of 36 meters) and a magnificent Szczyrk, dedicated to the blessed virgin Mary.
The glory of this Church, built in the Gothic style of simple brick, brought its internal structure and the splendid decorations of the interior.

The sky was completely dark. It was somehow low, bluish-black.
We barely had time to take some photos and go to the waterfront when it started to rain again.
The temperature dropped to 16 degrees.
We began to make his way shiver.
It was necessary to solve something on the bed.
In this weather ride to see the city was unpleasant.
And I decided immediately to give up to Denmark.
The fact that on the other side of the Strait is the Danish town of Elsinore (Helsingor). Here the smallest distance between the two countries.


Drive along the coastal street for some distance, found the building offices.
Rinat leaving to protect our belongings, I went to reconnoitre.
The ticket office at the ferry I found on the second floor and after some painful attempts, I figured out what's what.
Ferries to Denmark go very often.
The journey time is only 20 minutes.
And a return ticket only costs about 40 CZK per person and bikes are all free.
Another ten minutes I killed trying in broken English to find out from the ticket collector is not bound to return back to a specific time.
Finally we understood each other and I went down, waiting for me friend.

Around him the crowd already gathered some local lumpen personalities.
Especially prominent was the drunk man colorful appearance resembled that of boatswain of the "treasure Island" after a night of debauchery in port tavernu.
He was loudly guffawing and trying to figure out where we come from.
Rinat of course I understood nothing and only nodded to him grimly, pushing the body away from the bike.
The rain still drizzled and I had to get our coats in order not to stiffen.
Sorry we didn't photograph this person but to get cameras, and watering them is not wanted.

Holding in his hand the coveted tickets we went to find the ferry terminal to our company.
Between the towns ply the ships of the two companies HH-Feries and Scandlines
The terminal we need Scandlines we found immediately, and we had to make quite a detour along the waterfront.
But the terminals we already had.

Our boat was called Hamlet, and was cast off at 19:50.
showing the inspector in the booth our tickets we drove to the ferry and in five minutes fell on him.
Hamlet was greatly reduced copy of the Vikinga.

Obeying the instructions of the traffic controller we put our bikes from the nose of the ferry under a small shed.
It was very well as the nose of the ship was open and our bikes and backpacks got wet under the rain.
Download Hamlet was carried out not through the stern as the Viking Line, and via the ramp on the nose.

After loading we went up from the hold inside of the ferry on the top deck.
People already hard booze in bars.
The people all stayed and stayed.
And it is constant despite the fact that the ferry is about half an hour.
But the Swedes were not interested in the beauty of the sea - they were in a hurry to drink cheap alcohol.

Looking at this riot we went to the outer deck.
The ferry sailed right on schedule.
When our boat sailed from the shore some distance to our eyes were opened to a vast panorama of the city.
The castle and the town hall was at a glance.
Gloomy sky gave a surreal color to the surrounding sky.

Eresund Strait - excellent and strategic location that have been observed since time immemorial.
The desire to control the Strait, especially the narrow part, contributed to the occurrence here of a number of FORTS and castles on both sides of the Strait.
On the Swedish side is the fortress Kärnan (which I mentioned), and the Danish castles Kronborg and Marienlyst.

The Kärnan fortress (Karnan) in the middle ages was the main pillar of the Danish kings in the area.
The fortress was Danish before 1658 large area of modern southern Sweden belonged to Denmark.
In our days, the fortress remained only the Main tower , which rises above the surrounding urban landscape to 34 m.

Eresund Strait is a narrow passage connecting the Baltic sea with the Atlantic a width of several kilometers.
Because of this, the Baltic sea is a mixture of sea and lake.
The Baltic sea is the world's largest water basin, which is officially not salty, and salty.
The water of the Baltic sea is updated very slowly — only once every 25-30 years.

The bottom topography of the Baltic sea is that all harmful substances settle in deep layers of the sea.
This leads to a reduction in the number of marine plants, and therefore, fish are deprived of basic food and dying from hunger.
Fishing is one of the most important sectors of the Swedish economy and it is no wonder that this country is stronger than all concerned with the ecology of the sea.

In recent years, however, fish in the Baltic sea is more complicated.
The rich fishing stocks are almost completely exhausted, and due to the pollution of water recovery is very slow.
The main source of pollution acts as sad as it is to recognize our great city of St. Petersburg.
Sewage treatment plant which is worn out completely and the waste water go straight into the Neva, and thence to the Baltic.
And to our officials, as usual anyway. Talklook, there's no money.

In the sea there is a kind of soup, which is subject to anaerobic bacteria and algae killer higher forms of life
According to Swedish experts, in the coming years, if not reduced emissions into the Baltic sea from the waste system St. Petersburg, the sea may become dead.
Now under the threat of extinction of half of species of fish living in the Baltic sea.
The Ministry of health of Sweden has already stated that it does not recommend pregnant women to eat Baltic herring.

Our ferry raced at full speed to a Danish Bank which was seen quite clearly, not a narrow strip in the distance.

The course of our boats crossed within easy reach of a huge ocean liner.
It seemed that we will not have time to miss each other so fast were approaching us to Board this thing.

But the Scandinavian sailors know their job well and feel apparently the distance of the sea.
We managed to take some great photos before the moment when the plane showing us her stern went to the entrance of the Strait.

The rain has almost stopped, only a light spray flew more with perenaisele moisture of the sky.
Straight ahead seemed the spires of Elsinore.
And right on the shore of the yellow block ROS majestic Kronborg castle.

We went down into the hold and launched our bikes to the entrance.
At the approach of the ferry to the pier the bow ramp began to slowly rise up and our eyes finally opened Denmark.
At exactly 20:10 Hamlet moored.

Every movement fulfilled to automatism.
Danish directing traffic waved and revved the engines of cars behind us. We first went to the Danish land.
Swept along the chainlink fence and went to the station square.

And stopped briefly to consult the map.
According to her it's not something that to put the tent - no room to swing fall.
And only withto the North from Elsinore towards the town of Hellebaek (Hellebek) was nezastroennoe narrow strip along the sea.
And although it was going the other way, as Copenhagen was in the other side, we decided to go there.
Here, even the air was different. Smelled something old and sweet.
Probably it smelled the walls of centuries-old buildings soaked in the July rain.

Kronborg castle was going my way and I decided to drive there to see without any hope that it's open.
After all, it was too late though, and quite light.
To my surprise the gate was wide open and we freely moved inside.
I had to get used to that in Scandinavia the access to the locks absolutely free.

The Danish castle Kronborg (Kronborg) is one of the most significant in Northern Europe of the Renaissance Chateaux, combining the quality of the severe impregnable fortress and an elegant Palace – the residence of kings.
The words "to starboard Kronborg!" have become for the Danish sailors a symbol of homecoming.
In November 2000, Kronborg was added to the list of monuments of world historical and cultural values of UNESCO.

It was in this castle is the setting of Shakespeare's hamlet.
This was reminiscent of two sculptures at the entrance.
Hamlet and Ophelia as the bronze horseman in St. Petersburg is covered with a green oxide film.

Inside the Palace, access was of course closed, but we had enough that we drove around it , looked at the guns aimed at Sweden and sat for a few minutes along with the fishermen, located right outside the ramparts on the shore of the Strait.

Starting to get dark and we went to the side Hollebeke to find a place to tent.
On the way impatient and tired Rinat was trying to set up camp on the beach, four star hotel Marienlyst.
Hardly dissuaded and forced to drive another few kilometers to the North.

And lo! - we were lucky again.
The road went along the sea and it was all houses.
But suddenly the house is over and we are on the path, down on long beach.
Immediately there was a great choice in a clearing among the bushes of wild rose.
Tent is back fit and in addition was not visible from the road.
Although such precautions were probably unnecessary here, but as they say better safe than sorry.

When we made camp and had supper nervous tension of the day released on us the stone was rolled finally so very tired.
It's no joke - drove that day 163 km.
It was our biggest mileage day.
I ached and burned crotch.
I rubbed even though veltrusy.
Then at an opportune amiss children's talcum powder Johnson and Johnson, prudently captured me from Russia.
A great and effective tool as it turned out.
True, I sprinkled all the clothes around while trying to attach the powder to the destination.

By the end of the day, the sky was clear of clouds and we before bed admiring the red sunset clouds over the Strait.
On the left side of our Sweden to which we are for two weeks got used.
There was a feeling that we left home.
The next day we waited no less difficult, but also very busy day.

Passed: 163 km
Pedal: 9h 10 min.
The day temperature: +22C