The new adventures of the Kid and Carlson

The gloomy charm of Oslo

Chapter in which the Baby attached to a naked female body, and Carlson's affinity for knitwear

A proud young damsel enters the main hall! said Carlson frozen, playing with their capes.
Then he began to dance. This dance Kid had never seen before.
Carlson was running , raising their knees high. From time to time he jumped up and waved their lace capes.
Carlson soared, circled, and in farewell waved tulle capes.
A proud young damsel flies far, far away! he shouted


The morning greeted us with clouds is evil and does evil temperature.
After a warm tent I wanted to get on lots of any rags.
Thermophilic Rinat, without further ADO, put on your villagery with fleece. Well, I in the absence thereof, had hoped the laws of physics.
It is no secret that the intensive back-and-forth movement of the limbs is a natural warm-up.
Legs in motion practically does not freeze. An exception may be only the feet in contact with water.


Ten miles we climbed quickly and soon left of the road, far below was a glimmer of the water in the Oslofjord.
The road to the town led down the hill, and probably, under other circumstances, I would savor it and opening gradually a little longer.
But to my misfortune, we caught up lean and dry Ulf Andersen on your hybrid.
Understand that to get past a specialist in public relations, so just few people can.
Failed and poor Ulf.
Rinat immediately took him for a spin. He could not wait to get into Oslo and he began to poke at the map and ask how to get to the Center.
The benefit of that word of many languages sounds about the same.
Had to sluchitsa me.
Finally Ulf understood that from it want said, too, that goes about there and we can follow him.

Then began a mad race. I'm on my malocclusion bike could not keep up.
Rinat was like a fish in water - he finally gave vent to his speed instincts.
They drove neck and neck, and to my surprise even animatedly about something talked.
What caused my extreme amazement I had a vocabulary of Rinat.
However, I saw from afar as their lips moved, they looked and nodded to each other.
(as it turned out, Rinat just spoke Russian, and Ulf in English and both understood each other, only one pretended that all understand, and second of courtesy showed he did not understand)

I only once managed to slow down their avant-garde through the inhuman cry coming from the depths of the soul.
We passed velichestvenny panoramas and to capture it for himself and his descendants would be a great sin.

The capital of Norway situated at the end of the Oslofjord, on both sides of the river Akerselva into the Bay of Bervice in the area of the East railway station.
Low rain clouds dropped into the valley near the end of your watercolor gray mountains on the horizon.
Oslo is not as beautiful as Stockholm or Copenhagen.
Celebrated 2000-year its Millennium ancient city, largely built up with modern houses.
Built in the XIX century, and especially of the XIV-XVIII centuries, remained few.
On the Eastern shore of the Gulf of Pipervika remains of the Old city with the fortress of Akershus, built about 1300, and rebuilt in XV-XVI centuries.
In the Northern part of this Bay, with the port, the towering city hall building, built in the years 1933-1950

City hall, on the street Karl Johans gate, is the Parliament building - the Storting, erected in 1886, and the national theatre, built in 1891-1899. Between street Karl Johans gate and the port concentrated the whole business part of the city.

Local Arbat street is Karl Johans gate, prityanuvshy from the train station to the Royal Palace, and the Marina Akker Bruges.
That's where we turned after leaving the indefatigable Mr. Andersen.
Blagodarya him, and of course Rinat, we saved at least an hour when coming to Oslo.

Having strayed a bit on multi-level interchanges, left at the beginning of Karl Johans gate.
Despite the early morning was full of people. We even had to dismount.
We slowly walked along the motley human stream, past numerous shops selling Souvenirs, and listened to the many-voiced roar of the crowd, creeping along the cobbled pavement.
The most typical Souvenirs are the clothes with the image of the Norwegian flag and figures of trolls - fabulous creatures-one of the symbols of the country.

And of course we could not pass by our compatriots.
They are in national Russian dresses balalaika and the Bayan is placed on the wall of one of the tasks.
As it turned out it was the ensemble from Novgorod who came to work.
They arrived on the minibus for two months, and even food brought from Russia, not to spend money on expensive Norwegian food.
And even admitted to us from the head they catch fish from the piers.
We threw them a coin and was first on that day.
God forbid that the hand we were happy.

On the way to the ATM Rinat took 500 Norwegian kroner as a currency exchange, refused to change small Swedish banknotes.

In the area of the National theatre stood a man, depicting a motionless statue.
He was dressed in the clothes and mask covered with paint the color of the monument.
It's a difficult one to earn a living. He stood nesaules and only the pigeons swarmed his head and shoulders.
Then the man decided to rest, Packed up the money and went somewhere for the angle.
We followed him a bit and watched as he wearily picked off his horrible mask, and sat down on the curb, choking drank something from a bottle.

Passed over a particularly angry cloud and went small nasty rain. Breath of frosty freshness.
We barely managed to hide under a tree for about fifteen minutes and waited, shivering.
And the people of Oslo seemed it was uneasy - they sported t-shirts with short sleeves.

In the distance could be seen the houses of Parliament.
To it from the theater led wide Boulevard, one side of which were laid the tram tracks.
But we left a little early to the port and soon went to the town Hall - one of the attractions of the city.

What's particularly striking in Oslo is a huge number of sculptures and monuments.
Not only are there some famous figures and do not know who and why.
A lot of naked female bodies. Well, just a lot.
Fall and men.
just freedom of expression for artists.
Rinat there just crying with delight watching all this riot of the imagination.

Behind the town hall begins the territory of the port where boats leave for the many Islands in the fjord.
Port raspolozhen in the small Bay of Pipervika.
On the Eastern Bank, the fortress of Akershus, and on the West promenade of Aker Brygge.

Once upon a time respectable promenade was just a port with a dark, dirty docks.
Since a part of the port buildings have survived, however, was significantly altered.
Now it is a modern building, in which the predominant element is glass, which gave massive buildings of lightness and transparency.
Although it still looks as gloomy.

There are many seafood restaurants, which even converted different moored boats and yachts.
The prices here are horribly high - for the sake of curiosity we looked up the menu and wept.
Not with our dedelicate stocks there to eat out.
Even beer is$ 8 for a mug.
But the cheapest dish from 200 CZK.
But when I went to Norway was a dream to eat plenty of Norwegian salmon, which is so dear to us at home.
I even dreamt about it as you eat it.

About naked pomaded aunt in the wide-brimmed hat we were stuck for a long time, posing her in different angles.
Even passing people looking at our efforts could not help smiling.
You know, not all photos can I place on ethical grounds.

Especially a lot in Oslo statues of their national sculptor Vigellana.
There is even a Park filled exclusively with his work - there are more than a hundred.
Unlike say from Tsereteli, who in every way revile the Muscovites, the Norwegians, his figure seems like, though, and joke "Well, that time has died, otherwise the whole Oslo would be filled with sculptures".
But I think the Holy place is never empty - the city will make without it.

The figures of two young men, sitting at a table opposite each other, very skillfully entered into the summer restaurant, with the addition of the usual table to the table bronze.

Inside the quarter, Aker Brygge, we once again made an attempt to pretend to be normal tourists and culturally to drink coffee. But looking at the shop again refused the plan.
Annoyed with such things I found the first supermarket and leaving Rinat to guard the bikes and went shopping.

And again felt like the first day in Sweden.
Here 90% of everything was unfamiliar again.
And of course the price is much higher Swedish.
I wandered in search of the optimal variant forty-five minutes.
And among other things bought the coveted salmon. Not fresh, but frozen - because before dinner we had many more to go in this day.
The output Rinat pounced on me with reproaches, but when I told him about the fish a little SNIsil intensity.

Coffee we that day still drunk. Certainly not in the coffee shop and near a small kiosk selling fast food.
The kiosk was not far from the town hall next to the tram stop.
They were selling Souvenirs and tapes travel across the Atlantic fjords.

Time was running out. Lunch has come and gone and we had to get out of this cauldron of races and nationalities.
On Calugarita Rinat saw a t-shirt with Norway flag and burned it.
T-shirts traded some pot-bellied fellow with the Middle East and sold them quite cheap.
For me it is 800 rubles per ordinary shirt exorbitant waste of money.
Rinat seems to felt it and fought within him, his natural stinginess and eaten from the inside the desire to show off.
He hesitated, trying on her countless times asked me whether to take it.
If it were up to me the final decision.
Brought to a white heat dealer that black has progressively become seroburmalinovyh.

In the end, Rinat something Peredelkino in the brain, and he with apparent reluctance, he waved his hand and walked behind me.
We drove about ten blocks when Rinat braked sharply and in a changed voice said he was coming back.
He thought long and hard and realized that without a shirt he will not be able to feel a whole person all the time.
I had to go back.
The price was downed in half, shirt bought , Oriental merchant is left in a sweat and a semiconscious state.
But my friend came at last to the ruins, and the consent with itself and we could easily devote himself to the difficult task of leaving the city.

Along the way we randomly stopped at some bidonville - poor district, populated by blacks and Arabs.
Old worn out buildings, women in hijabs and the flaw with the kids on hands, unshaven men, accompanied us with greedy looks, and something whispering among themselves. /> And we are all the same bright and elegant, as if descended from a booklet on clean bikes.
To put it mildly was a bit uncomfortable. Unwittingly have added speed to quickly escape an unpleasant place.

At the time Norway implemented the admission of refugees from the East and Africa, victims of apartheid and other citizens allegedly persecuted by dictatorial regimes.
Give them the opportunity to live in the country and provided benefits.
As a result, they all of course to assimilate to become, and settled in compact groups.
And in Oslo there were entire neighborhoods populated by Pakistanis, Indians , Africans.
They say that in some of them the white man pojavljatsja unsafe.

Although the crime rate in Norway is one of the lowest in the world.
The Norwegians are very law-abiding , honest and prolinani.

The first role in the world in terms of life in the country came not so long ago thanks to the discovery of oil in the North sea about 30 years ago.
In Norway, one of the richest countries in the world (in terms of income per capita), unlike in many other countries (for example Brunei) existing wealth is divided among different layers of society more or less evenly.
All of the oil owned by the national oil company where the state owns 80% of the shares.
Experience the difference with Russia where the oil was in private hands for next to nothing.
And as a result our citizens have from the extraction of this kind of national wealth.

Caught another shower from which we took shelter at the bus stop.
And watched with interest the accuracy of the transport.
At each stop there are the digital display with countdown, pokazyvaem how many minutes left until the arrival of the next bus.
Along the way, asked a passerby to show on the map the shortest path.
He didn't know but volunteered to help us, challenged the bus driver and he patiently explained to us how to go.
We patiently listened to his the flow of words on a mixture of norvezhskogo and English.
Passengers waited patiently.
All of them sentences I understood only the direction where to move.

Our further route lay back to Sweden.
A brief introduction to the North of the country, lying on the edge of the earth came to an end.
They say that Oslo is a big village.
Perhaps this is true - in fact there is no particularly large houses, a small population and if you sit on the bike for a 10-15 minute from the center to travel to the outskirts and end up in a wild forest where you can live a month without meeting a single person.
However, the city is very spread out in area and stretches. Together with its suburbs, it covers an enormous area.
But the level of concentration of culture and art here, far from the village.

I will not be long and tedious to describe the next two hours.
We did a lot of wandering, I was wrong and came back, was on those signs and eventually ended up on the highway, leading to the small town of Lillestrom.
Breathed a sigh of relief - and go in traffic like we usually do.
But the test was still waiting for us and not one.

It was in the form of a semicircular overstiya in the rock in which the track pitch.
The tunnel length of 500 meters.
Not sure what in Norway are allowed to travel through the tunnels on the bike.
But there was no choice and we ducked inside.
A lot of discomfort fell upon us. The hum of hundreds of machines echoing off the walls and repeated many times by the echo. Flashes of light from the headlights.
Fortunately the tunnel was short and we sighed when left in the light.

After a while I saw a sign telling about another hole in the mountain.
And Oh my God! there was a length of 2.5 km.
I scream Rinat to see what is waiting for us, and he can't hear gritted his teeth and rushing like a tank, forward.
The tunnel is a small trotuarchiki edge designed apparently for makuuchi people. Not more than a meter wide. It is for him we went to the thundere and ruckus. It was Sodom and Gomorrah!
On top of the wall was sticking out , after a certain period, some signs and reflectors at the level of our chest.
And had to stoop to the steering wheel, so you don't crack a head.
Probably looks like hell.
We sweated there pretty!

In General Norway is a country of tunnels.
And c some time the longest tunnel in the world is located also here is Laerdal tunnel 24.5 km

This is a fantastic engineering achievement.

Its construction lasted 5 years and cost the state 1 082 million Norwegian kroner (about $ 150 million). It was opened in November 2000.
The tunnel passes through the mountains, reaching altitudes of 1 400 to 1 600 m, which creates tremendous pressure on its walls.
To strengthen them and redistribute the load was hammered 200 thousand bolts with a length of 2.5—5 m and filled 45 thousand m3 of cement.
To ensure blowing off such a magnificent building, it took 2 powerful fan 17-meter length.
The clean air special filters specifically designed for this tunnel. Such a ventilation system is able to handle a flow of 400 vehicles per hour.

Inside the tunnel is differently lit so that the drivers traveling on a monotonous road, did not result in a dangerous addiction.
For lighting Lerdala was selected as a white light, which on motion several times changing to blue in a picturesque niches.

Every 6 km in his "body" side cut special niche (large caves) — this is to ensure that in case of danger could turn around and go in the opposite direction even a very impressive truck.
Beyond the tunnel watched the clock and kept in repair, since he's experiencing and the enormous pressure of the rocks, and the risk of future fires is large enough.
By car it is about half an hour and even that is very hard psychologically.

Us enoughlo for that two kilometers.
In Lillestrom arrived exhausted and stopped at the store I remembered that I forgot to buy bread.
Norwegians eat a little bread - because it imported and expensive.
Their main food is potatoes and fish.
But we are without bread they could not - habit is second nature.

While I did the shopping via Rinat passed Stroy football fans returning from the match.
Fortunately the match was probably won and they were very good-natured.
Or perhaps my friend would still be the wreckage of the bike and shreds of clothing:)

It was getting dark. Passed the city of Fetsund (Fetsund).
At this point, the Glama river flows into the lake Oeren .
The Delta is so great that it reaches postprocesarea the lake shore.
This is the largest and the extensive Delta of all the rivers in Europe.

After Fetsund it began to rain again. Needed somewhere to land.
Saw some descent from the track to the side of a small lake.
Decided to try my luck there.
But to no avail. I only finally got his feet wet in the tall grass.
In addition, the area where the shots were fired.
Probably went hunting.

I had to go farther and luck smiled to us.
Though this time not on the lake and on a giant stone boulder in the woods.
Boulder completely covered with moss and I found on top of a platform on which to put our tent.
The place turned out to be extremely interesting.
In addition, there were a lot of blueberries and we ,in spite of the fatigue, threw all the stuff and half an hour crawling.
Rinat even managed to gather up on top of a jar in reserve.
One berry in your mouth and the other in the basket.
But it seems already from another fairy tale:)

The rain stopped altogether.

And then there was koraleski dinner.
Rinat cooked salmon in a pot.
First we drank the scalding fish broth and vivifying warmth into us.
Then we enjoyed the fish with buckwheat and Norwegian boiled potatoes, fresh tomatoes and crisp rye bread.
Finally drank Spanish wine and finished the day with two mugs of fragrant tea with cookies.
Despite the dampness and the coolness of the day was not bad at all.

...In the twilight we are postponing the longing
to the side. Before the new recognition.
Lulls her like a baby
Quickly the summer passed this year.
In the morning we leave.
The last time we go to the sea.
Stand at the very far rock
and feel the ground grows cold and cold.

Stein Mehren (Norwegian poet)

Passed: 64 km
Pedal: 5 hours
Temperature: 15C