The new adventures of the Kid and Carlson

Invited guests and among them Tartar

Chapter in which the Baby tortured English, and Carlson's after the housekeeper (based On the works of tage of Danielson and Unsen of Eivind.)

- What a family you have!
And if comes dear old friend, whom I haven't seen for a few months?
I think your sister could do this.
- Yes, of course, but we didn't know... - justified Kid.
- "Didn't know"! - grumbled Carlson. You had to hope!
You should always hope that I will visit you
and because your sister every day need one hand to fry the meatballs, and the other to bring down the cream.


Morning painted the horizon pink.I climbed out of the tent first.
Later whereany Rinat followed my example almost without prodding.
What, in General, for it is strange, but by the end of March became the norm.

Traditional oatmeal for Breakfast with bread VASA.
Hot tea with lemon, blueberries and cookies.
Crisp bread we bought regularly. Very tasty and most importantly economical food.
Unlike fresh bread - not much to eat.

So bought a pack enough for a few days.
Most of us relished rye bread.
Although the range is quite large - there are wheat and oat.
The perfect base for buterbrodov.
Put on top of cheese, then ham and a ring of tomato.
Well, then you can eat together with their own language if you do not mind:)

And then we saw through the trees a bearded man on a bike who drove into the hill was still something to look out for around.
Beside him ran the same soboka which barked at us before.
Crept into the idea that it is still a Forester, and he looks for us.
We continued to have Breakfast reclining on the mossy coastal hills.
Meanwhile, the man disappeared somewhere.

When we finally got together and went from the shore to the trail leading to the highway "lesnik" suddenly reappeared, emerging from the bushes on his old bike.
The dog immediately rushed up to us ,happily wagging his tail and clacka jaws.
Rinat panic hated dogs. Especially when they rush from the gates to traveling cyclists and zahlebyvalsya barking accompany them until the get bored.
I treated it calmly and always in such cases, made serious face, and with maximum severity in the voice were bugging the dog, "Shoo!!!"
Usually dogs deep thought after this , I calmly continued on his way.

Fido! - shouted Rinat - Good dog!

"Fido" is clearly agreeing with interpretacia, stuck out his tongue and stood up on his hind legs and tried to lick the reachable part inetovskogo body.
He successfully did a few approaches before the master power shout not withdrawn a dog.

A further ten minutes passed in friendly conversation.
The bearded man asked where we were from. Clucked in response to our confused story.
Asked a lot whether we caught fish and were photographed.
Who he was we really did not understand.
And on the left.

Left the track and headed in the direction of Paskallavik (Påskallavik). In Sweden, many talented sculptors Express themselves in their home gardens.
You can often see these mini exhibitions around of a home.

In Paskallavik we just saw something similar.

Often I catch myself thinking that absolutely cannot write anything about what stage of the journey.
We drove Emsfors (Emsfors), Mönsterås (Monsteras) and Timmernabben (Timmernabben) in one breath. Not stopping in any of them.
Cute provincial coastal cities.
Similar to each other as clones.
Memory is not something to cling to. We just drove and enjoyed the nature.

After passing usadibu Stemsrud (Stremsrom) we drove up to the village of Pataholm (Pataholm), where he decided to stay for lunch near the boat pier.

Neighborhood Pataholm

The blond Swede called Bo Cornelison — and he had not so sweet when he grew up.
His father, Hilmar earned so much money, most of it was spent on taxes in a progressive system applied in the country.
When he died, the legacy is not left him almost nothing and Bo began to feel increasingly bitter towards the state and the municipality.

To pay less taxes, Bo took a job as a clerk in the local branch of the postal service.
Regularly received a salary and did not think about anything more.

When the time came, he met Hilda.
They saw each other for some time quite often, and both thought how wonderful it would be if they married.
Hilda was modest and narrow-minded woman, with thin pale lips.
Only his eyes - large ,infinitely gentle and trusting.
But when she smile, the whole face at once began to glow and his mouth was transformed .
She had the most beautiful teeth throughout the County and so well adjusted.

They got married. Bo worked, and Hilda was a homemaker.
Every morning she would get up at half past four, brushed my teeth, drank a glass of grapefruit juice and read the "Illustrated journal".
So they lived quite a long time: he ate two potatoes for dinner, drank four glasses of brandy to coffee on Saturday nights, and then Liubeat each other as fairly as possible in the darkness of night.

After a while Bo bought a car, and later a yacht.
There is nothing strange, because every Swede if he is a little work can buy a yacht.

Their daughter Gudrun grew up perfectly folded.
She didn't need to push, sticking out the chest and retracting the abdomen or achieving a nice rounded stern.
The curves of her body rested, so to speak, in an elegant natural proportionality.
His thirty-five years she has explored and the enjoyment of life, and loneliness, but has not yet reached that milestone, to be considered a woman, indifferent to obedience or to cold-blooded, decisive and selfless actions.
She was well-bred and at the same time very practical lady.

On that clear summer day Bo Cornelison was driving his Volvo to the waterfront.
He drove and thought about the lost match, over and over again thinking of your own mistakes.
On the pier he waited for his wife and daughter.
They agreed yesterday that after a round of Golf with a neighbor Magnus Bo dumped them on the island.
Once a week, every good Swede needs to go to grill sausages.
Thick red juicy palanskie sausages.

Bo was just thinking about how he playfully spank the girl on her bony ass when in front of his windshield appeared contorted face Renat Bikbulatov, carrying two plastic bottles of water.
The face was very dark and that it spewed in an incomprehensible language.

Arab!- I thought Bo and jamming, even blinked in astonishment - that I was missing! Where in our neck of the woods Arab!
When he opened his eyes again, before the car was empty.
- Is it fancy! muttered Bo and ,wiping the sweat from his forehead, and I went to my wife and daughter.

Rinat him, "resetdevice here any ponakupali fat cars", descended from the mound to the fence OKolo which we stopped to rest.

Two parallel worlds , two human fates crossed paths for a moment, then to continue every ordained of God running.

Half an hour later rested vellutini left Pataholm and almost nonstop through the settlements Rockneby (Rockneby) Laceby(Lackeby) and Lindsdal(Lindsdal) got to the Squid.
Had to make a small detour to get to the city, bypassing the highway.

Along the way we met a huge supermarket Netto and bought a Pro stock some dolgorukaja products.
The Danish chain Netto sells cheap food.
Some select cheeses, sausages and things like that Premium will not meet.
But we didn't have to.
Again marveled at how the prices here are lower than in the ICA.
Danish stores there why it is only on the East coast of Sweden.

On a very long street Norravagen went to the center.
It was about five o'clock in the afternoon. The next gas station we took a city map and asked the boy behind the counter to show us the street on which she lived is my second cousin.
Do not delay and immediately went there.

Searched the house found without difficulty. The layout of the streets is understandable.
It was neat Estetica with a small courtyard.
Around the house on one side, a brick garage and the other parked bikes.
Rinat leaving on the bench I went to POSCO cousin.
The matter was complicated by the fact that I had her landline phone and the call before she answered.
Behind the glass door of the entrance was a small staircase to the first floor.

Steps ten. On the side was equipped with a lifting mechanism for wheelchairs.
Seeing that a man of Caucasian appearance opens the door to my room I approached him and in broken English asked if he knows his neighbor on FamilAI is my second cousin.
He hunted posmorel at me, shook his head negatively and hid behind the door.
Okay - I thought - help from the tenants do not wait!
And then my attention was drawn to what the signs are nailed to all the doors on the floor on the level of my knees.
Bending down I saw that it was the name!
On each door was the name of the landlord !
Fantastic! And we have people in Russia are marked with numbers and essentially impersonal.
Each apartment is assigned a number. This also shows the relationship to the person.

I was lucky and the name of his sister I found on the ground floor.
But the call no one answered.
Back to Rinat we collectively decided to go to night on the town, inspect it and then return back.

Today Kalmar is a clean tidy streets, tidy houses, green lawns with bright colors. This Islands connected by bridges.
Very few cars and people. But everywhere bikes. They go young and gray-haired old men.
They carry food, belongings, children, sitting behind the wheel of a bike talking on cell phones. Bike lanes as part of sidewalks and a lot of velocitiesof at intersections.
Click on the button under the traffic light, and it lights up. While there is a loud sound similar to a goose Creek. Apparently this is done so the road could go blind pedestrians or cyclists moving blind (would not be surprised if Sweden and any)
Kalmar is a city of bicycles. Them here so much that sometimes they dazzled. A lot of abandoned, rusting at taxi stands.
Along the way we found a gorgeous bike - one of the best we've seen in Sweden. Even in Stockholm worse.
Rinat literally died there. We spent about an hour looking at his range.
A great variety of bikes for every budget and age. Scott, Nishiki,Crescent.
Bike trailers for children, velosantfor every taste, Cycling wear for summer and winter.

And a lot Volosenkov.
There are indeed huge and heavy - weighing several kilos in the form of arcs in the thickness of a finger.
In Sweden constant despite the honesty of the citizens still there stealing bikes. Especially in big cities where a lot of immigrants.
They shamelessly steal and squid. This is the most common crime in the city. Therefore, elastance bikes carefully strapped with all sorts of locks for frame, wheels, steering wheel and so On one bike may be three or four different lock.
Rinat loved the 4 liter bag German company ABUS
It can be worn in hands and can hang on the handlebar or on the side of the trunk.
It cost 500 CZK (2,000 roubles) and after much hesitation he decided to buy it on the way back to Stockholm.
Who knew that there she would be.

Squid was a small town.
In the evening we had two hours to explore the port area and surroundings of an old castle.

In the city about 60 000 inhabitants.
In the XII century on one of the Islands near the South-East coast of Scandinavia was built a guard fortress.
This was the beginning of the history of the Squid.
A century later, the Squid became the capital of the then United Kingdom of Sweden and Finland. Strategic location on the crossroads of trade routes has determined the fate of this city for many centuries.

In the historical part are - Kalmar castle, whose inhabitants repelled the attacks of your enemies, and the Duomo, for several centuries, the faithful servant to the Swedes.
These heritage preserved from the time of the Kalmar Union, when, tired of the troubles the Swedes in 1397 gave the reins of Margaret, Queen of Denmark and Norway.

As time passed, epochs changed each other, and together with them has changed and the capital city of the Squid.r /> By the end of the XVIII century from the former greatness has not disappeared, despite the fact that the Royal castle, completely built by the time, still proudly towered over the city with its bastions.

In the second half of our century Kalmar, as if remembering its glorious past, began to Shine again, but as an economic and cultural centre of the South-East of Sweden.

As Squid ages, no one knows for sure. Despite its "smallness", it is divided into old and new city.
Modern attractions include the water tower, which several years ago built a small (40 square meters), but expensive apartments.
Or a wooden bridge that leads from the prison to the old town.
Each Board of the bridge was bought by someone of the residents. Therefore, on each Board there is a metal plate engraved with the name of the purchaser.

Like most coastal cities of Scandinavia, Kalmar is partially located on the Islands.
Channels with brackish water, cutting a land for quirky pieces serve as natural boundaries of each district.
Has its Gamla Stan with its old houses of past centuries.
There are Kvarholmen - business and cultural district centered around the Cathedral.
Has its own SOHO, with luxury houses - Ango
And even industrial parks - district Varvsholmen.(we stopped there before leaving the city and I'll talk more about this)

After six in the evening the Squid empties completely.
At 17: 00 ends the working day at the enterprises, in an hour all the shops are closed.
On Saturday and holidays the shops are closed earlier.
The only place where you can do some shopping, it remains one of the two supermarkets.

Calmarza proud of the fact that for two centuries they have not built a single building, which would be above the city's Cathedral. Another calmarza like to say that of all the Swedes they are the most calm and peaceful.> Of course, the low-rise buildings — is a tribute to tradition, and calm disposition — the result of education and lifestyle.
But for us, accustomed to the human crowd and the flickering-revving machines, Russian disasters and the fast pace, this life is incomprehensible. And maybe even protivopokazana.
Our Russian provinces, unhurried life which mocked everywhere, just an active volcano in comparison with the Swedish Outback.

Perhaps that is why the most popular form of ads in Newspapers, in addition to information on vacancies and the sale of real estate - the reports of someone who was born, who married who and when is the wedding.
And fun are such for example, as the tournament ... search for a needle in a haystack.
Such competitions are held in Kalmar since 1978 and are wildly popular.
Oddly enough, finding a needle from a large haystack is not so difficult.
Even famous for its phlegm and slowness of Swedes to cope with this problem in just 20 minutes.
However, the reason for such amazing success can be a prize of 1 million dollars awaiting the winner of the tournament.

For Norravagen we drove past the Volvo center and Rinat, leaving me to guard the bike, rushed to choose a car.
And then long told me how beauty with long legs hugged his dirty and sweaty on the subject of purchase.
The Volvo he chose but said that is not enough what is a hundred thousand dollars to the required amount.

The street leads to the promenade of Squid.
And here in all its glory on the island towers Kalmar castle.
The island is surrounded on three sides by the waters of castle Bay, and on the fourth side is separated from land by a moat, across which is thrown a drawbridge.
That's where we sent your wheels.

Kalmar castle was the first in a series of castles that we visited during our trip.
It is then we ceased to be surprised by the fact that at the entrance to such historical monuments there are no barriers, security guards and ushers.
No one collects money from tourists for the right to gawk at the ancient stones.
No one let us on bikes with a huge velorjukzakov to go inside.
But first it was strange and amazing, we were very cautious, expecting some trick or shout guardians in the back.
But none of this happened and through a winding corridor in the wall of our bikes with their riders inside.
However, it was not even a wall in the usual sense, and high earth mound in the form of a square perimeter surrounding the castle . In the corners of the shaft was a circular watchtower with blackened battlements.

The tree was planted korotkostrizhenih green grass and on the sides stood the well-preserved cannon on wooden carriages.
Their vents were aimed towards the sea ,as many centuries ago.
Between the guns on the benches or directly on the grass sat the other. Some even ate something.

The history of Kalmar castle (Kalmar slott)starts with the XIII century, when around a watchtower, erected in the XII century to defend from pirates, began to build the castle.
The castle was situated on the border with Denmark, at that time, and served as an Outpost of Sweden.
Several Swedish rulers managed to change each other, before the result of the Danish conquest of Sweden in 1387 on the throne was the Queen of Denmark Margaret.
Since she was simultaneously the ruler of Norway, the three countries were United under the Danish crown.
This Association, called the Kalmar Union collapsed a half-century under the pressure of active resistance of the Swedes
Aristocrat Gustav Eriksson of the genus Vase, young men participated in the war against the Danish king Christian II, who sought to restore the Kalmar Union.

In 1520 Christian II, head of the Union, executed in Stockholm 82 people, the opponents of the Union . r /> the event went down in history under the name of the Stockholm bloodbath (Stockholm blood bath).

After the Stockholm bloodbath, Gustav Vasa fled to the region of Dalarna, where he raised the inhabitants to revolt against Danish domination in Sweden.
In 1523, when a popular revolt liberated the country from Danish domination, was elected king.
Officially cancelled the Kalmar Union, broke the economic power of the Catholic Church, held in Sweden, Royal Reformation, put an end to the dominance of the Hanseatic League in Sweden.
Made by the Riksdag recognition of the hereditary right of his dynasty on the Swedish throne.

Later, during the reign of Eric XIV (reigned 1560 - 1568) and Johan III (ruled 1568 - 1592) the castle was extended and rebuilt in the Renaissance style.
Last in the castle lived the king, Karl XI, he was on the throne from 1673 to 1692. Today the castle operates as a Museum, showcasing interiors and Antiques to its visitors.

After enjoying the view of the sea and the girls eating dinner between bronze guns , went inside the castle. Actually the castle has the form of a hollow box. Towers at the corners and a patio lined with pavers.

Gray walls from which emanates the cool, time-darkened wood, narrow Windows and loopholes through which penetrate the rays of the setting sun.
Behind the thick walls was heard the noise of the city, and the sounds of the organ coming from somewhere in the depths of the castle, forced to forget about the inexorable passage of time.

And suddenly opened a massive oak door, and from there ,pattering feet, came a hunched housekeeper in Clacton the plaid and white cap. In her hand she was holding a kerosene lantern and looked around.
A full immersion in history!

The feeling lasted a moment until after the housekeeper from the castle to the courtyard does not spill gamoneda the crowd of tourists.
Rinat frantically started to pull my camera out of the bag, adjust the lens and as always was late.r /> the Procession together with the guide again disappeared in the depths of my companion, without hesitation, slipped after them.
He climbed through the bowels of the castle about half an hour. And I, meanwhile, enjoyed the feeling of unreality.
Through not properly closed Windows could be heard the subtle mournful music.
Someone played the violin the kind of folk tune. In the echoing wishing well yard every sound has acquired a different meaning and power.
And once arisen, would drift up to the blue square of sky framed by the grey stones of the walls.
And for a moment the whole world disappeared and it was just me and this ancient castle.

Rinat came back inspired, he managed to shoot the interiors and look at the Squid from the height of the Windows.

After leaving the castle we went to the port area where he saw a small patch of dancing people.
There is a small tape recorder, and straightforward rhythmic melody anyone can join in and wave her hands and feet.
Is lead, which shows the rest of the movement.
And can only repeat.
We Rinat looked, but that decided not to join.

It was time to go back to the house sisters. I just feared that we might miss it and it will go to somewhere to have fun.
Hardly a beautiful young woman spends the evening at home in four walls.

Traveled around the perimeter of the island, which was located at the Central area of the city Kvarholmen we rushed back.
But to our disappointment again, the house was empty.
And then we found a bench and decided to wait until the bitter end and the entrance.
Got food and a little snack.

It was getting dark. The sun was setting and became a little colder, when I saw the dark-skinned boy running in the house.
William! I shouted (that was the name of the son of my sister).
The ear does not lead.
Nevertheless, I decided to go after him to see what apartment he goes and it has paid off.
He had just discovered the key I needed the door.
William said sternly I told him - I told uncle Igor! The brother of your mother! You should know that we come from afar to visit you!

The silence of second cousin, closing in my face the door, called cell sister.
And after 15 minutes he was in my arms , easily jumping down from his bike (if everyone in Sweden can ride bikes, why my sister should be the exception)

Putting the bikes in the garage (my sister said that the street is better not to leave as stealing), removing veloryukzaki, your humble servant ,after a week of wandering among ticks and mosquitoes , were in a civilized setting.

And the whole evening, having washed and shaved, were all sitting together at the table , ate the food overseas and were intimate conversations about everything little by little (nephew bill for the most part was silent).
Mostly about the local life of course.
About the social structure of the state, for example.

Swedish socialism

Sweden is called the land of developed socialism with capitalist overtones.
This is quite a rich country.
Despite the prosperity, the Swedes of their wealth, not flaunt it.
People dressed very simply. No and vast cottages.
All appreciated the rationality and convenience.
The most expensive housing in Kalmar - the old house overlooking the sea and apartments in historic buildings.
Housing for rent even in the medieval lighthouse.
More affordable public housing.
Rent for 4 bedroom apartment per month is about $ 800.
How, then, do people make? Surgeons, for example about 8000$, legal$ 4,000 and an average of around 2000-3000$!

But Swedish socialism is proving to be not so straightforward a fair system.
The tax burden in the country is very large. At the beginning of the 90s it was even more and Sweden was considered the world leader both on GDP and on tax rates.
From such a severe tax burden began to fall the pace of economic growth, reduced competitiveness of Swedish goods in the world market, reduced investment and the transfer of some production outside of the country.
Therefore, the authorities in 90-e years have reformed and were forced to take serious measures to reduce tax rates

But now they are high enough.
Today, Sweden still has a leading position in the world in the size of taxes and government spending make up almost 60% of GDP.
Do not want to climb in this jungle ,I will notice only that in the country, among others there are income taxes, taxes on state and taxes on capital.
In Sweden, the tax on capital paid in cases when it is larger than a million Swedish kronor (about 125 thousand dollars).
Here is the biggest VAT in the world - 25 percent!!!
The income tax rate, i.e. the share of income tax of GDP was in Sweden in 2001 - 49%!!!
Tax scale is progressive - the more you earn the more you pay taxes.
Lately because of this, the number of millionaires in Sweden decreased by 30%.
It is Swedish socialism - to die of hunger will never leave you, even if you really want, but to get really rich is almost impossible.

Universal system almost equalizes the tax of Swedish citizens in income (this despite the fact that 90% of the industry is privately owned).
The press makes such a tax to leave the country most wealthy citizens, as was done, for example, owners of world famous companies such as Tetrapak, emigrated to Britain or the owner of a furniture Empire IKEA, Ingvar Kamprad.
But thanks to this policy, in Sweden there is no privileged and untouchable castes.
The difference in income levels between the richest and the poorest does not exceed four times. (for comparison, in the US - 9, ROSthis is 20 times)
Moreover all information about the income of a person, his address, marital status and education are freely available on the Internet.
And to GET there we need a special court order.
It turns out that all are under the control of all.

Conservatives demand lower taxes, but this idea is not popular, because about 65% of the Swedish population lives in public salaries or social benefits.
every Swedish citizen is eligible for all conceivable occasions, including unemployment, the birth of children, public health insurance, public pension insurance, etc.
Moreover, taxes are levied on the provision of the whole range of benefits at full strength 99% of citizens don't use in a lifetime.
Thus, unlike other Europeans, Swedes are much more interested in keeping taxes high.

And are particularly interested in this system, all immigrants.
In Europe immigration is a serious problem, but as usual, Sweden differs from other countries.
Now unemployed immigrants have the right to receive social security benefits for five years!!!
Allowance it is about$ 1000 a month!!!
And this despite the fact that the average salary of a WORKING person after the payment of all taxes is 1200-2000$ per month.
Many immigrants use this without any effort to find work, studying the language and culture of the country you came from.
It's much easier to lie on the couch, reading a newspaper ,praying to his God, and in the intervals to have children in enormous quantities(for each child because it is believed a separate supplementary welfare allowance).
It turns out that the money economically active population flow into the pockets of the parasites and parasites!

In Sweden there is a list of countries the people from whom it can obtain the status of Bejantsa and shelter.
Even if a country is not listed in the list, giving asylum, though a minimal chance - everyone who filed such a petition, by law, entitled to individual consideration of the question, and until that is fully dependent of the Kingdom.
During this time, you can for example marry a Swedish citizen (or marry a citizen) and ask for citizenship on another basis.

But this system is flawed, because sooner or later the money will no longer be enough.
The nation is aging , labor is getting smaller , raise taxes any longer.
Will have to cut social benefits and to reduce benefits.
And then you'll have disgruntled - especially those who live at the expense of the state.
And how they will behave a rhetorical question. Because a lot of them and many of them unaccustomed work.
Why work if you could thrive at the expense of the state.
All that is given to man for nothing, sooner or later it corrupts.

Current example of what is happening in France illustrative variant of probable developments.
Ill-conceived state social support of the poor may turn against the state itself
All participants of the "French intifada" – come from immigrant families living on state benefits.
The relatively high level of social protection of migrants has, therefore, its downside.
In fact, with this level of protection, migrants cease to be labour.

So we sat far into the night in the cosy kitchen with fridge dvudolnym in a typical municipal apartment house.
Not until finally we fell asleep and heavy with fatigue and white wine eyelids are not closed in our faces.
A body accustomed to earth not broke test on the white sheets kindly provided to us welcoming my Swedish cousin.

Passed: 91 km
Pedal: 5h 30 min
The temperature of the bottomm: +32C